Introducing the “Weekend Barrel Mixtape”: a set of songs with a (loose) theme to get you through the weekend and straight to your inevitable Sunday hangover.
This election season has been entertaining hasn’t it? Who knew our country had such ridiculous people to trot out like mangy butt-sniffing show dogs and who just happen to hold the fate of the United States in their (tiny) hands? On one side, you have a orange clown who can’t keep his hands and words to himself, and on the other, you have a malfunctioning political robot who deletes emails like she’s Lorraine Bracco frantically flushing cocaine down the toilet in Goodfellas. And for bonus comedic relief, you have Gary Johnson, who is basically Forrest Gump but without the accidental success.
These people are reality TV characters who make The Situation look like Tom Hanks, and the series finale is nigh. You can’t make this stuff up. This is high end entertainment, and on Tuesday, it’ll all be over. What the hell are we going to talk about now? Admit it, you’re going to miss the daily controversies and stupidity. This election season was the biggest entertainment roller coaster since the fifth season of Breaking Bad, and EVERYBODY was watching. Hell, the presidential debates were more popular than football, and we Amurricans love our FOOTBAW!!!
Personally, I think this whole election has been one big conspiracy by “Big Government” to get people to care about politics again. Well, guess what, it worked! We’re all watching, America. Thanks Obama! I bet you more entities are going to adopt the same philosophy to get viewers back on the wagon. Look at the MLB: baseball ratings are down? No problem. Let’s put the Chicago Cubs and the Cleveland Indians in the World Series and bring it to an exciting-as-hell Game 7. Presto! Ratings are up again! Coincidence?
The election has been a frightening dog and pony show, and now, it’s all over. No matter what happens on Tuesday, know it’s all going to be okay and we as a country will still continue to move forward. We’re just gonna be a little bored.